While most of us have experienced the love of a parent or the passion for a lover, we are generally unprepared for the overwhelming love we have for our babies. It’s this love that is the key to the survival of the human species. Our immature young are nurtured for a long time and with great vigilance simply because we fall illogically, utterly in love.
The brain is masterfully designed to release the love hormone, Oxytocin, exactly when we need it – when we are having sex, right before birth (whilst in labour) and when breastfeeding. It is in these moments that our physiology takes over and gives us that love-drunk feeling.
Why is this so vital? In order to nurture a securely attached, happy human life who, in turn, is capable of loving another, you must establish a secure attachment. With the rush of Oxytocin at birth, you may have felt immediately connected to your little one. However, this is not always true. Luckily what we know about bonding is that it’s a lengthy process and care and bonding over the first few years is as important as that moment of birth.
When you stroke, groom and look at your baby, this nurturing care results in release of Oxytocin in you both. This enhances trust, love and affection and reduces fear. This literally wires your baby’s brain for social engagement, interactions and joint attention – a precursor to language.
Oxytocin is ultimately best released whilst breastfeeding. The let-down reflex, as the milk is delivered, is associated with a rush of Oxytocin. When your baby cries and you prepare to breastfeed, you already start to release this magic hormone, giving you and your baby a daily dose of feel good hormones.
Under the influence of Oxytocin, you feel calmer and your baby soothes. In addition, your sense of smell heightens, allowing you to imprint on your baby’s smell. You will also want to touch, stroke and look at your babies more while breastfeeding due to Oxytocin. All of these have the knock-on effect of increasing your baby’s attachment
It becomes a cycle of:
BABY CRIES → OXYTOCIN IS RELEASED IN YOU → YOUR BABY BREASTFEEDS → MORE OXYTOCIN IS RELEASED IN YOU → YOU STROKE AND NURTURE YOUR BABY MORE → YOUR BABY RELEASES OXYTOCIN → YOUR BABY CALMS → YOU FEEL MORE SUCCESSSFUL AS A MOM → YOU TUNE IN MORE… and so the cycle continues
Nature is magic and never more so in the miracle of mothering. It is very important to recognize the role breastfeeding plays in the release of Oxytocin. It is equally important to acknowledge that love and caring for a baby in a multitude of ways is more important than the method of feeding. Connect, touch and nurture your baby and that bonding connection will be secured.